One question I get asked a lot as a mental block specialist, is whether privates are helpful in overcoming mental blocks.

 

 

In my expert opinion, I LOVE private lessons for working through mental blocks.

However there are some caveats to this opinion (which I'll explain shortly).

But first, let's walk through a pretty common scenario...

Your gymnast suddenly stops doing a skill she had mastered in the past. 

At first, her coach is cool about it. Her coach might be patient and allow your gymnast to do some drills or get a spot (<-- not always the case) or work on a different skill temporarily.

But then after a little while her coach starts to get impatient. Her coach might get annoyed that she's not doing her skill. Coach might punish her or kick her off the event. 

Eventually coach starts to ignore your gymnast.

Now your gymnast is on that event and you see her standing around. Coach doesn't have time to spot her or set up basic drills for her, so your gymnast spends a lot of the event twiddling her thumbs or stalling to take her turn.

And her mental block continues on and on with no end in sight. She's making no progress and she's scared to speak up and ask her coach for help.

While this is just a generalization and this exact scenario doesn't happen at every gym, these are the common patterns I've heard over and over again from many of the gymnasts I've worked with.

Now imagine that your gymnast signs up for a private lesson.

In this private lesson her coach is dedicated to helping her since you're paying for the lesson and she's the only gymnast there to coach. Your gymnast feels supported and gets to work on the things she needs to do to feel better about her blocked skill.

This scenario is GREAT! It helps your gymnast builds back her confidence. She gets the attention of her coach back and feels seen again. She develops a deeper bond with her coach which can help her feel safer in asking for help during her regular gym time.

But here's when a private lesson can go wrong:

• A private lesson is helpful ONLY if her coach is willing to do the things your gymnast needs while letting your gymnast take the lead. Some coaches are still set in their ways and may continue to make unhelpful comments or push your gymnast out of her safe zone when working on her blocked skill. This is NOT helpful. To know what to work on, consider downloading my Mental Block Trust Ladder. Your gymnast can fill it in and bring it with her to her private.
  

 

 

 

• A private lesson with the "scary, mean" coach can be hit or miss. Many gymnasts are too afraid to work with that coach one-one-one and sometimes their gut is correct. If their coach continues to be mean or unhelpful during a private lesson, it's time to find a different coach for the private lesson. I always suggest picking the "nice" coach to do the private lesson even if this is not their regular coach. 

 

• Working on the same skill for the entire 30 minute private can be stressful if things aren't going well.  You want a coach who can spend some time working on the blocked skill but also recognize when it's time to move on for the day. The goal is not to reinforce the blocked pattern. It is to develop confidence in helping the gymnast do what she CAN do as it relates to her skill.

 

My best advice is to start by having a private lesson with her regular coach, if possible. See how your gymnast takes to her coach in that environment and watch closely to see how the coach treats your gymnast. If your gymnast is leaving in tears, it's definitely not a good fit.

 

 

 

If that private lesson with the main coach is a disaster, seek out a different coach in the gym who your gymnast trusts. This will give your gymnast the time to practice her blocked skill in a private setting. While this might not translate into her regular practices immediately, over time she will start to develop trust within herself and become more confident with the skill. 

If your gym doesn't allow private lessons or if your coach is too busy to get lessons with, consider going to a different gym just to work on this skill.

Many gyms frown upon this...however gymnasts working through blocked skills need the time and attention of a coach to work through their skills in a low-stress environment. If your gym can't provide that, it's worth seeking out a place where you can do a few privates at, assuming the coaches there are a better fit.

Bottom line - your goal is to get your gymnast back to doing her skills. Don't let gym rules stop you from doing what is best for her. Whether you're open about this with your gym or keep your extra privates a secret, that is your call. Just remember that your gymnast's mental health takes priority.

 

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If you or your gymnast needs support, in addition to the resources below I also offer one-on-one coaching sessions via Zoom.

 

 

Helpful Links:

 

• Resources: Get gymnastics downloads to help your gymnast work on her mental skills in gymnastics
• Mental Health Training for Gymnasts: Help your gymnast learn about her brain and the fight-flight-or-freeze response. 
• Free Facebook Group for Moms of Gymnasts: Join this group to chat with other gymnastics moms and get tips for how to help your gymnast navigate through the mental ups and downs of gymnastics